Unspoken
by theatrebaby88
Summary: Maybe I've gone Mad...Maybe I've found my sanity...
1. Chapter 1

"As she walks by me I catch a hint of perfume, Zero plus, she leans over my desk to pick up some files, then gives me a smile…and I melt, like the countless times before. But I shouldn't feel like this…not about Jo."

"Her eyes follow me as I lean over to get the files on her desk; maybe she's noticed the make up or the perfume. I can see a flicker of something in her eyes as I smile at her…does she know how I feel…Oh Christ, but I shouldn't feel this way about Ros."

"I sit beside her on the bench as we go for a cigarette, I realise I'm out of them and she only has one, we share it. My hand brushes against hers and…was that a gasp or am I imagining things…no of course it wasn't. She takes a draw and hands me the rest. I inhale slowly, then exhale just as slowly, then stub it out."

"Smoke break, fantastic. I need one; I can't stop thinking about yesterday. Oh God, she's coming with me. As we sit on the bench and share my last cigarette her fingertips brush against mine as she passes it back to me, I give a tiny gasp before I've even realised I've done it. I hope Ros didn't notice."

"Maybe I'm going mad, maybe I'm finding my sanity. What is it about this girl that has me feeling like this? Maybe I'm reading too much into things. I go to her desk to find a file and I see a picture in a frame, it's the one that Adam took of Jo and I months ago."

"Why was she looking at that picture…does she know? I don't know what it is that's making me feel the way I do…maybe it's the way she moves, the way she talks, the way she looks at me when we're alone…I shouldn't want this."

"She's dressed up for the night in black and cream zip front body-con dress; yet we're all going to the pub. I feel over-dressed in my black and red lace , just above the knee, number, until I see her. I can't stop looking; wanting…what is it about Jo? Is it the way she smiles; the way she walks, the way she looks at me?"

"My God, Ros looks beautiful. As we walk into the pub she seems to be looking at me, I can see her eyes flicking over my body. I wish it…stop…I shouldn't want her."

"As we drink I feel as if there's no one else around. She comes beside me and leans over, trying a sip of my cocktail. I watch as her lips close over the straw, and as she gently runs her tongue over her lips after she drinks...I wonder if she ki…what am I thinking!"

"I watch her hand move over her glass, her lips as she slowly sips the orange liquid from the straw…I try some…why did her breathing speed up…why did mine…this isn't right!"

"I hear the noise before I see the smoke; she runs alongside me, then over takes, throwing her weight into the door, she's shouting the hostages name as she does. The door gives in after the third attempt. We get in, find him, get him out. As we leave a second explosion goes off nearby, we are covered in debris and she looks hurt, her face is dirty and her eyes are damp…I know I'm the same. We check over the man we have just rescued, he is grateful. I call it through; done. We are told to return to headquarters."

"There is the sound of an explosion, then smoke. I run past Ros and turn a little to the side; shouldering the door with all I've got, it gives on the third thud. The hostage isn't all that hard to find. She unties him as I keep watch. We get him out with no trouble, none until we leave. We don't get far when another explosion goes off behind us. The three of us are thrown to the ground with the force of the blast. We pick ourselves up, She looks bedraggled, as I'm sure I do too. The man assures us he is fine. She calls in the assignment and we follow our next order; return to H.Q"

"As I look at her in the light of the debrief room, I see that she must have been thrown hard to the ground. She has dried blood on her face and hands. I catch sight of myself in a mirrored surface, I'm also caked n dirt and blood,my hands and face are stinging. She yelps in pain and I turn round. She tries to remove her Jacket and grits her teeth as she struggles to move her right shoulder. I walk over and help, easing the jacket off her. My hand brushes against her arm and she yelps again. From the way her top is sitting I can tell her shoulder is dislocated. I don't want to hurt her any more than necessary but it will help in the long run. I call on Ruth to help...Christ I can see it in her eyes that she's dreading this. I ease the sleeve from off her shoulder. Ruth holds her still, as best she can. I push her shoulder back into place."

"I'm aware of a horrific pain in my shoulder. As I try to remove my jacket the pain intensifies. She's removing my jacket for me, I can't think of anything but the pain. Then Ruth is in the room, Ros frees my arm from my t-shirt. Ruth holds me into the chair, the pain sears through my shoulder as Ros pushes it back into place, I yell out and feel a damp heat on my cheeks. Ruth leaves the room."

"Ruth leaves the room; I don't know why. I help her with her t-shirt again. Her face is inches from mine. Through the dried blood and the dirt i see tear streaks...beneath it I see the girl in the dress. Why am I cradling her face? I wipe away her tears with my thumbs. My heart is racing, as is hers. Her lips are an inch from mine and I can feel her breath on my face. I want to tell her, I open my mouth but the words won't come…The door knocks; She looks at me as if she read my mind, the understanding in her eyes."

"I know it now, Love. It can be silent, unassuming, lurking there in the background. Words unspoken, a kiss that never was, a moment when everything is understood. I know it now, I know love."


	2. Chapter 2

The morning was dark; the air had a chill to it. Ros Myers made her way through the doors of Thames house; she signed in and went up to the grid.

Jo Portman got out of the car; she pulled her coat a little tighter round herself as she walked through the cold car park. She went through the doors of Thames house and she too signed in and made her way to the grid.

Ros was sitting at her desk; she looked over as Jo walked in to the grid.

Jo walked into the grid; she walked past Ros' desk and gave a slight smile. She made her way to her own desk and removed the heavy black coat she was wearing. She sat down and logged into the computer then read through the files another lady had sat on her desk.

Ros read through the files on her desk then stood, she walked over to Jo, noticing she had finished reading the files on her desk, "Are you done?"

Jo looked up at her, "Yes." She gave her a slight smile. There was something behind it.

Ros picked up the files and took them to their right area.

The day past slowly, eventually, it was five thirty.

Ros lifted her coat and logged out of the computer, she shredded her notes and left the grid. She walked down the stairs from the grid to the foyer.

Jo looked at the clock and smiled; she sorted out her paper work and lifted her coat. She made her way from the grid to the foyer.

The hallway was narrow, Ros looked behind her as the click of high heeled shoes echoed on the floor behind her, and she stopped and waited as the other woman made her way down the corridor.

Jo smiled as she caught up with Ros; "Hi."

Ros smiled back, "Hi."

Jo had been like a giddy school girl the entire day, a slight smile that hid a wide grin, the occasional sigh of contentment passed off as a tired yawn. There was a question in her eyes, a question that raced through her mind over and over.

The pair chatted for a few minutes about work, about the weekend, about mundane day to day things. They felt ordinary.

Ros looked at the clock, "I'll see you later."

Jo tilted her head slightly, "I'll see you later?"

Ros scanned the corridor, empty. She lent In and so very softly kissed Jo's mouth. "Later.." She smiled and left through the double doors.

Jo smiled as Ros pulled back, "Later…"


End file.
